I Refuse to Babysit People's Feelings Anymore

lifestyle post about changing behavior


For better and for worse I'm the eldest of my 3 siblings, aka the experimental child. Because I was my parent's first child, they tried their best to do everything perfectly. To prevent me from getting cavities I wasn't allowed to eat too much candy, to stop me from growing up too fast I couldn't wear red because that was a color for grown folks, and to make sure that I was respectful it was important that I was considerate and courteous to others.

My parents did a good job as I avoided many pitfalls that I may have lived to regret. With that said, the importance of being courteous and considerate caused me to have the tendency to consider other's feelings ahead of my own. Well, 2017 is the year I stop all that, also known as I stop babysitting other people's feelings.

That statement sounds so gangsta / so savage, but it is what it is. It's not that I don't care about how others feel, but I no longer care about their feelings before my own. Especially because a lot of times I was considering the feelings of others without them asking me to do so. I was automatically saying to myself, "I don't want to hurt their feelings" or "I don't want them to think negatively of me."


 
I've had enough! via GIPHY

In business, if I were doing a transaction with an acquaintance I would automatically give them a discount, but sometimes this involved me being inconvenienced and left irritated. The situation could have been alleviated if I had thought logically and not emotionally by giving them options that I was comfortable with.

I have found that it's best to determine what will benefit me first and the other person second. That way I'm not left annoyed by a decision no one asked me to make. I am still courteous by stating what will and what won't work for me as that way we both have clear expectations, and I'm not left regretting any decision.

It's not always easy changing a pattern of behavior, but it's well worth it in the long run if you have found a better way of walking through life and dealing with troublesome situations.



What are you doing differently in 2017?



*Before you go stick around and see what I wrote about last week - Finding Joy Exploring Your Hometown

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